[he knows it sounds ridiculous; he can't even begin to judge genya for being surprised.]
I guess I've just been more focused on what I can do for others... I haven't even thought about myself.
[it doesn't help that senjuro doesn't exactly like thinking about himself. that's where the bad thoughts™ start.]
Oh, you didn't steal anything! As much as I enjoy it, I don't have a monopoly on using the kitchen. I really appreciate you taking the time, Mr. Genya. I'm sorry you're feeling this way too, though...
[Not even in a way that Genya can mock or feel superior about, either. It just makes his chest hurt. He takes a break from his bowl, and instead just fixes Senjuro with a sad little look.]
We should do something about that. Or - not with me, if you don't want. Muichiro would probably be better.
[He shakes his head.]
If it's something you care about, I don't want to go stomping all over it. 'sides, you're probably better at it than I am.
Oh. Is it...? [senjuro doesn't know what to do with that information other than... keep on smiling his confused, sad little smile. is he trying to make genya feel better about it, or hide that it bothers him? he isn't entirely sure.]
It's just been easier this way, for me. But... Mr. Genya, if it isn't too presumptuous, you're just as much my friend as Mr. Muichiro is. Unless it's a polite way of saying you're not interested... ah, that's probably presumptuous, too, isn't it?
[anxiety so strong he invents his own problems. anyway,]
The things I care about are best shared with the people I care about. Skill level isn't a factor -- and to set the record straight about it, you're plenty talented!
[He scratches at his cheek a little, gaze dropping to the ground. Talking about himself sucked, but there's something about the idea of helping the kid that sticks within Genya's mind Never mind the fact that Senjuro was too anxious to go blabbing about any of it.]
I've been through hell and back, but I still like things. So. What's keeping you?
[He isn't trying to imply that Senjuro doesn't have problems. He just doesn't get it.]
Okay, then. Maybe we should cook together sometime.
[Just blurting that out, if only to keep Senjuro from harping on him about being talented.]
I do like things! I love to read and to cook. I like spending time with my family and friends. Sometimes I even enjoy cleaning and sewing.
[don't worry that roughly half the things he mentions are chores.]
Yes! It's a promise, then. [note how he railroads genya into a "promise" by being so sweety niceys about it. senjuro may be small and sweet, but he's still a rengoku.]
Yeah, uh. Half that shit is the upkeep I do for Master Himejima. Those aren't actual hobbies.
[The worry for Senjuro is growing so much that he doesn't even argue that he just got shoved in a promise he didn't necessarily want to make. Though he huffs once, what he ultimately says is:]
[Well, shit. Now he's being put on the spot, huh?]
I guess, uh... Something you can do that doesn't benefit anyone. I mean, it can, but they can live without it. Like woodcarving, right? Sure, someone might like a spoon if I carved it for them, but they wouldn't need that spoon in particular. There's a whole drawer full of 'em.
I mean, you're getting there. Sewing is definitely pushing it. That can be a chore too, if you're having to patch up your family's clothing.
[Being in such a large family, and with such little money, he'd seen his mother devote hours to making their clothes last just a little bit longer. He knows it can be a passion, but he doesn't trust that it is one for Senjuro.]
[even if senjuro finds the process relaxing, he sure hasn't done it just for fun, except maybe in making puck some accessories... hm.
he thinks about it for a bit longer, brows furrowing deeper all the while.]
... I'm... not sure. [his hands wring together in his lap.] I guess back home, I didn't really have much free time but for reading, and in Johto I was usually either traveling or working.
[Ah. He's pushing too hard. He can see it in Senjuro's discomforted demeanor. Clearing his throat, Genya reaches for his bowl finally, hoping to encourage the other boy to eat.]
S'not like you don't have time. You're still young, right? [He isn't sure how old Senjuro is supposed to be but... somewhere in the bracket of him and Muichiro, he's sure.] I'd say you could try traveling but...
[He motions vaguely with his spoon.]
Probably not a good idea. Especially not right now.
[ah... he's getting all swept up in something about this train of thought. but he sees genya going for his own bowl, so he forces himself to eat more as well. keeping his head down helps to hide the way his eyes begin to water again, but when he speaks, his voice cracks anyway.]
All I have is time. [he's so young that the amount of time he has left in his life is downright overwhelming. puck clings to his leg in an attempt at comfort, and senjuro pats his head between bites. right, he needs to not let his emotions get away from him. he's young, but he isn't a child.]
... I don't know how far we could even go, here. Roseroot was a nightmare, I doubt we could successfully cross the ocean, and who knows what's in the other directions. Being stuck here in one spot is its own torture, isn't it?
[The wince Genya wunced. He knows right away that he's said something wrong based solely off of the sheen in Senjuro's eyes. It makes him cough a little on his food, struggling to swallow as quick as he can before:]
Sorry. I'm being an asshole aren't I?
[Here he was, picking at Senjuro's shortcomings like he would his own. Compassionate angle or no, it was still pretty cruel of him to do.]
Maybe it's something we work on together? If - if you want, I mean.
No. [he's quick to shut that down, and his tone doesn't indicate a lie to spare feelings, either.] No, you're not. I'm just... being childish.
[vague as fuck because like hell senjuro wants to traumadump on genya when the guy has done nothing but do him favors today.]
... I guess there's plenty of the town I have yet to see. And there's supposedly a lake, if you follow the river... I haven't actually been to the beach, either.
[Because Genya can tell that something is there. He might not understand it, but it's there.]
A lake? Really? Sounds pretty cool. Maybe not this time of year but... [He drums the fingers of his free hand against the table.] Maybe once it warms up, you, me, and Muichiro can go check it out. Or the beach.
[senjuro will agree to disagree by way of... not mentioning it.
at least it's easy to focus on making plans. the three of them, huh? if muichiro is up for it, then...
he can't help it; he laughs. a little frantic, at first, because his nerves are worked up, but it settles.]
A few teenagers going to check out the beach. Do you know how... normal that sounds?
[of the three of them, senjuro can confidently say he's lived the most "normal" life by far, but being raised by a hashira still can't compare to the upbringing of an actual civilian.]
[The way Senjuro sounds only serves to make his heart hurt. Maybe it's because he sees something of himself in the other boy. Or maybe Genya is just more of a sap than he thought. Either way, he reaches over to rest a hand on Senjuro's shoulder, letting out a laugh of his own.]
Kind of fucked up that normal is so weird for us, huh?
[genya keeps saying that. but genya is also being at least somewhat openly affectionate with senjuro, which is a great comfort. he shoots genya a grateful smile before his eyes dart this way and that.]
I guess we're both kind of... [even if he's now sure that no one else is around, he still lowers his voice.] ... fucked up.
[oh, the adrenaline. he is feeling it. like he just committed armed robbery.]
[Unfortunately, the moment is about to be ruined, because Genya absolutely rears back and lets out a beastly bark of laughter. The delight shimmers in his eyes as he gives a nod, then swiftly changes his shoulder patting to outright clapping down on him.]
[oh, good lord, genya. senjuro is just sitting here actively sweating while he guffaws, but still... he ends up laughing right along, even if the shoulder clap jostles him a bit. maybe his cheeks tinge a bit from the embarrassment, too.]
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I guess I've just been more focused on what I can do for others... I haven't even thought about myself.
[it doesn't help that senjuro doesn't exactly like thinking about himself. that's where the bad thoughts™ start.]
Oh, you didn't steal anything! As much as I enjoy it, I don't have a monopoly on using the kitchen. I really appreciate you taking the time, Mr. Genya. I'm sorry you're feeling this way too, though...
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[Not even in a way that Genya can mock or feel superior about, either. It just makes his chest hurt. He takes a break from his bowl, and instead just fixes Senjuro with a sad little look.]
We should do something about that. Or - not with me, if you don't want. Muichiro would probably be better.
[He shakes his head.]
If it's something you care about, I don't want to go stomping all over it. 'sides, you're probably better at it than I am.
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It's just been easier this way, for me. But... Mr. Genya, if it isn't too presumptuous, you're just as much my friend as Mr. Muichiro is. Unless it's a polite way of saying you're not interested... ah, that's probably presumptuous, too, isn't it?
[anxiety so strong he invents his own problems. anyway,]
The things I care about are best shared with the people I care about. Skill level isn't a factor -- and to set the record straight about it, you're plenty talented!
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[He scratches at his cheek a little, gaze dropping to the ground. Talking about himself sucked, but there's something about the idea of helping the kid that sticks within Genya's mind Never mind the fact that Senjuro was too anxious to go blabbing about any of it.]
I've been through hell and back, but I still like things. So. What's keeping you?
[He isn't trying to imply that Senjuro doesn't have problems. He just doesn't get it.]
Okay, then. Maybe we should cook together sometime.
[Just blurting that out, if only to keep Senjuro from harping on him about being talented.]
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[don't worry that roughly half the things he mentions are chores.]
Yes! It's a promise, then. [note how he railroads genya into a "promise" by being so sweety niceys about it. senjuro may be small and sweet, but he's still a rengoku.]
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Yeah, uh. Half that shit is the upkeep I do for Master Himejima. Those aren't actual hobbies.
[The worry for Senjuro is growing so much that he doesn't even argue that he just got shoved in a promise he didn't necessarily want to make. Though he huffs once, what he ultimately says is:]
Right. Sure. Promise.
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... but if genya acquiesces on one thing, senjuro supposes the least he can do is the same...]
Well, what would you consider a "proper" hobby, then?
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I guess, uh... Something you can do that doesn't benefit anyone. I mean, it can, but they can live without it. Like woodcarving, right? Sure, someone might like a spoon if I carved it for them, but they wouldn't need that spoon in particular. There's a whole drawer full of 'em.
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[he's trying so hard to understand, please tell him he's doing good.]
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[Being in such a large family, and with such little money, he'd seen his mother devote hours to making their clothes last just a little bit longer. He knows it can be a passion, but he doesn't trust that it is one for Senjuro.]
What else ya got?
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he thinks about it for a bit longer, brows furrowing deeper all the while.]
... I'm... not sure. [his hands wring together in his lap.] I guess back home, I didn't really have much free time but for reading, and in Johto I was usually either traveling or working.
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S'not like you don't have time. You're still young, right? [He isn't sure how old Senjuro is supposed to be but... somewhere in the bracket of him and Muichiro, he's sure.] I'd say you could try traveling but...
[He motions vaguely with his spoon.]
Probably not a good idea. Especially not right now.
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All I have is time. [he's so young that the amount of time he has left in his life is downright overwhelming. puck clings to his leg in an attempt at comfort, and senjuro pats his head between bites. right, he needs to not let his emotions get away from him. he's young, but he isn't a child.]
... I don't know how far we could even go, here. Roseroot was a nightmare, I doubt we could successfully cross the ocean, and who knows what's in the other directions. Being stuck here in one spot is its own torture, isn't it?
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Sorry. I'm being an asshole aren't I?
[Here he was, picking at Senjuro's shortcomings like he would his own. Compassionate angle or no, it was still pretty cruel of him to do.]
Maybe it's something we work on together? If - if you want, I mean.
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[vague as fuck because like hell senjuro wants to traumadump on genya when the guy has done nothing but do him favors today.]
... I guess there's plenty of the town I have yet to see. And there's supposedly a lake, if you follow the river... I haven't actually been to the beach, either.
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[Because Genya can tell that something is there. He might not understand it, but it's there.]
A lake? Really? Sounds pretty cool. Maybe not this time of year but... [He drums the fingers of his free hand against the table.] Maybe once it warms up, you, me, and Muichiro can go check it out. Or the beach.
Whatever you want.
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at least it's easy to focus on making plans. the three of them, huh? if muichiro is up for it, then...
he can't help it; he laughs. a little frantic, at first, because his nerves are worked up, but it settles.]
A few teenagers going to check out the beach. Do you know how... normal that sounds?
[of the three of them, senjuro can confidently say he's lived the most "normal" life by far, but being raised by a hashira still can't compare to the upbringing of an actual civilian.]
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Kind of fucked up that normal is so weird for us, huh?
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I guess we're both kind of... [even if he's now sure that no one else is around, he still lowers his voice.] ... fucked up.
[oh, the adrenaline. he is feeling it. like he just committed armed robbery.]
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That's it! I knew ya had it in ya!
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Please don't tell my brother?
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[Rude as fuck. Genya would never in this life or another life be a...
Well. Never mind.]
Secret's safe with me. Though maybe I'll tell Muichiro. I think it'd make him laugh a little too.
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Ah... [actually, after a second to think about it...] I think it would, too!
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[Another pat to the shoulder before leaning back and returning to his bowl.]
He's a good guy. Never got to hang out with him much back home, given how much higher he ranked. But I like him.
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So do I. He's very nice, but still assertive when it's necessary. He doesn't tolerate people being treated poorly.
[he's seen muichiro come to genya's defense, at least. he likes that.]
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